


Unnatural Chemistry

by Love_Psycho



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Angst, Drama, Dubious Consent, F/M, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Pedophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 02:37:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14559012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_Psycho/pseuds/Love_Psycho
Summary: Or, five people Lelouch didn't want to have sex with and yet did, and the one person he wanted to have sex with and didn't.





	Unnatural Chemistry

**Author's Note:**

> Of course the first thing I show up for Code Geass is ANGST. And a oneshot. I need to get my focus back soon so I can write up one of the few dozen ideas I already have.
> 
> That said, brace yourself for some hurt in this one.
> 
> Oh and this is the "highlights" of the "sex life" going on. There's more off-screen.

1: Lelouch is 10 and the man offers food, water, and other supplies if he would touch him.

Lelouch is young but not stupid or ignorant; he knows what the man _really_ wants when he says such things. But he glances over at Suzaku, who does his best to not show that the days have been taking their toil. Lelouch feels lightheaded too; most of what little they have goes mainly to Nunnally. But they are running low, in time even Nunnally will start to feel the effects of starvation.

There are still miles to go before they can reach the shelter, days of slow paced travel, the three of them hampered by their age and the fact Nunnally has to be carried by Lelouch. Suzaku offers at times, but Nunnally is _Lelouch's_ sister and Suzaku, the most athletic of the trio, is best suited as being as unburdened as possible in case of trouble.

Lelouch licks his lips, glancing up at the man, who is big and looking at him with a slimy gaze, taking in the delicate features Lelouch has inherited from his mother. He's a Britannian soldier, the rank markings on his shoulder saying he's a sergeant. Somehow it makes this worse.

“You...you will hold to your word, yes?” Lelouch asks, ignoring the hiss of breath from Suzaku behind him. Nunnally was placed in a small, somewhat destroyed shed in the shade cast, left to get some sleep as the hard travel got to her. It's just Suzaku and Lelouch who were spotted by the soldier; overhearing their conversation about their need for food, how the supplies are too low for more than a day or so.

Who saw Lelouch, eyes travelling over his still somehow fair skin and _pretty_ features before coming to a decision.

The man gives him a look Lelouch can't quite read, then grins. “Yes. Yes I will.”

Suzaku opens his mouth but closes it as Lelouch gives him a smile. “Head back to the shed. I'll be back soon.”

Suzaku glances at the man, but leaves as suggested. Nunnally isn't mentioned but she's there invisible in the unsaid words and he knows Lelouch wants him to protect his sister.

Lelouch lets the soldier lead him away and watches as he undoes his belt once they are in the shelter of a half destroyed building, partially shaded by the remains of the roof. His dick is huge, especially to a small child, but he's coaxed into touching it, feeling the thick pulsing heat. Then using his mouth, fitting what he can into his mouth. It's bitter and hot, the sun making sweat sting his eyes. But he does as he's asked, is given a handkerchief to clean up with after. The man chuckles and pats his head, telling him he's a good boy. Lelouch sits on the ground as he leaves, then throws up once he's out of sight, careful to do so where when ( **if** ) the man comes back he won't be able to see it.

An hour later the soldier _does_ returns with a heavy bag, which Lelouch checks and finds is exactly as promised; dried fruit and meat, some simple leavened bread, three large and full waterskins, a large chunk of hard cheese, sunscreen and bug spray, a solar powered collapsible lantern, and even a few blankets. Enough food for three hungry children for the next two weeks if they pace themselves carefully, and supplies necessary to help them in their travels.

“If you need help again, you know where to find me again, don't you boy?” The man runs a hand over Lelouch's face, the thick calluses on it making his stomach roll. But Lelouch smiles and nods, before walking off back to where he left Suzaku and Nunnally.

He hates it, but for his sister and Suzaku's sakes it is worth it. For the supplies he gets, enough to get them finally to safety, it's okay.

_(and if he repeats that enough he can maybe one day believe it)_

 

* * *

 

2: Lelouch is 15 and is starting to gamble, to do something to pass the time and get the money he needs for Nunnally and his distant, far off goal _(dream)_ of a destroyed Britannia.

This noble is one of the few that, though shocked, doesn't get indignant and throw a fit. He instead takes his loss with a grace Lelouch wishes more of his opponents had sometimes. He even shakes Lelouch's hand...

...only to use it to pull him closer and whisper in his ear, “You are a pretty one aren't you? I've heard of you, been taking more and more challenging opponents and offering up bigger bets. Sounds like you _need_ money.”

Lelouch freezes, glances over to where Rivalz is hesitating by the door, eyes flicking between Lelouch and the noble. The noble chuckles and pulls back, smiling at Lelouch, a hand slipping to make his chin rise up. “Do you mind if we speak in private for a moment? I have a proposition for you.”

For a moment Lelouch is small, staring up at a Britannian soldier with a smirk on his face, and he freezes. He can only nod, swallowing down his nerves. “Alright.”

Rivalz now looks worried, but is ushered out by the guards here, leaving Lelouch alone with the noble. He's suddenly more aware of the plush, rich surroundings and feels so out of place. Once, when he was younger, this was the kind of place he took for granted. Now the plush and luxurious furniture, the carpeting, the paintings on the wall, feel like it's just a trap, a false image where horrible termites and other bugs are hidden behind the pretty surface.

The noble settles down on a couch after pouring himself some wine, pats the seat beside him. Hesitantly, Lelouch sits down next to him.

“Commoners always need money.” He swirls the wine in his glass, peering at Lelouch through narrowed eyes, a smile on his face. “But I get the impression you genuinely need it more than usual.”

Lelouch flinches, his mind immediately going to Nunnally. A complication has popped up due to her condition, in her legs, that will likely get worse untended. There is surgery for it, but it's _expensive_. He could ask the Ashfords for the rest of the money needed, but he can't be indebted to them anymore. It's bad enough they are the ones who give them housing, education, and even a maid to help Nunnally. Lelouch knows very well their selfish reasons for taking in the exiled prince and princess and the thought of the Ashfords holding even _more_ over him and Nunnally than they already do makes his stomach roll.

“How much do you need?” It's a casual question, but Lelouch sees how the noble looks over him, sees the desire in his gaze.

Lelouch licks his lips and answers,

“725,985 pounds.”

The noble raises an eyebrow at that, then nods. “Hmmm...well, how much do you have right now?”

“...493,570.” Lelouch winces at the thought. Despite the amount of money he's been winning, it would be unfair to not give the appropriate amount to his go-between and Rivalz as well for his help in this regard.

“Hmph. You need 232,415 pounds then. I can give you immediately 200,000 right here and now.”

The casual offer makes Lelouch flinch. That would leave him only needing 32,415 pounds. It's not completely paid, but with only that much needed to get Lelouch could have the money he needs with one more game; two at the most. With the time ticking by, it's tempting. And, the noble knows it.

“What...what do you want from me for that money?” Lelouch turns to face him and knows the answer before he speaks.

“You.” The noble runs a hand over Lelouch's face, leaning in closer. “You really are _pretty_. And I would say you haven't been touched before...not at your age.”

Lelouch thinks of a man who liked to touch children, and shakes his head. “...No.” He lies, glancing to the side and not moving.

“So then. I give you 200,000 for your virginity.” He sounds so _pleased_ about it. “Isn't that getting one's money's worth hm?”

Lelouch shudders, repulsed but--

He thinks of Nunnally, of the time running out to get her the surgery she needs. Of her struggling to keep her smile despite in how much pain she is recently. “I...accept your terms.” Lelouch looks at him and just barely avoids flinching back as the noble gets in his face.

“Aaah...don't worry. I keep my word.” He whispers, breath warm against Lelouch's lips, just before his kisses him. Lelouch goes slack, forces himself to not fight back. It's for Nunnally. For Nunnally he...

The noble pushes him down on the plush couch and begins to unbutton his shirt. Lelouch forces himself to keep his eyes open and not to cry.

Lelouch leaves about an hour later, the money an ugly burning bundle in his jacket. Rivalz is waiting by the motorcycle and jumps up at the sight of Lelouch coming. “Lelouch! Are you okay? The guy didn't do anything bad right?” He sweeps his gaze over Lelouch and frowns. “You look really pale.”

Lelouch manages a smile. “It's fine. Dealing with nobles is just hard. He was another one that wanted to hire me,” the lie slips easily from his lips, “but was more persistent than most. It's fine.”

“Well...if you say so.” Rivalz sounds slightly doubtful but he smiles anyways and starts up his motorcycle. Lelouch clambers into the sidecar and looks down at his hands, at his body. He had a shower right after, with the noble pressing the money in his hands as he was leaving.

He feels **filthy**.

_(he's just like a cheap **whore** )_

 

* * *

 

3: Lelouch is 17 and probably shouldn't be here alone with the wife of the noble who contacted him for a private game of chess and more than enough money on the line to sweeten the deal.

The lady is probably typical of her rank; bored, only having married her husband for political reasons, and always looking for more entertainment to pass the time. But her eyes are more sharp than most and as the time passes, as she finishes another round of solitaire, she looks up at Lelouch.

“Would you mind a game of chance while waiting for my husband? I must admit I'm surprised at how long he is taking; perhaps work has more problems than normal. Likely the Elevens; those workers are always so lazy and sloppy.” She says, stacking up the cards as she does so. “And here I was interested in seeing what makes such a young pretty boy like you an interesting chess opponent.”

Lelouch bites on his tongue to keep from snapping at her casual disregard and disdain for “Elevens”. “I am afraid I don't do card games.” He says smoothly. “Games of chance just aren't as interesting as strategy games.”

“Oh? Well how about a fun bet?” She settles herself by him, rests a hand on his knee as she bats her eyes at him. “I'll add in money, let's say 286600 pounds, if I lose, to what you get. Even if you lose against my husband.” The lady sneers at that and raises an eyebrow at Lelouch; he can read in her face her belief that Lelouch will beat her husband and wonders at it.

“But what am I betting?” Lelouch asks and flinches as her hand trails up his thigh, reflectively grabbing it in his own before she reaches his crotch.

“You are a pretty boy and I'm bored.” She drawls as she pulls her hand free, leaning back and adjusting her dress to show her cleavage some more, a smirk painted on her face. “I wouldn't mind teaching you how to please a lady. So, if you lose, you sleep with me.”

Lelouch says no. Of course he does. But she doesn't let up and another hour passes and Lelouch agrees just to quiet her. It shouldn't be too hard, even in a game of chance, for him to figure out a way to win.

But it is, the lady is better at the game than expected and Lelouch ends up staring at the smug faced noble woman, who stands and offers her hand to him. “Well? You have lost the bet. Shall we?”

Lelouch wants to refuse but she glances meaningfully towards the bell pull, at the fact she can call in the manor's security at any time, and Lelouch swallows and stands, following after her upstairs to her room.

Sex with a woman is different than with any of the men he's been with, softer but _scarier_ almost to Lelouch. She smells of her sickly sweet rose perfume, and coaches Lelouch on where to touch her. He finds himself forced to use his mouth on her, a different experience than sucking a man's dick, and then _he's_ the one inside her, shuddering and swaying under the sensations even through the condom. Even though _he_ doesn't want it, his dick still enjoys it and so does the noble lady.

They return to the parlour after that, Lelouch feeling vaguely sick and the noble lady flushed with pleasure. Another hour passes and she gets a call; her husband was in an accident at his corporation and died recently on the surgery table.

Lelouch is shooed off and given all the money that was up for the chess match, and even the bet for the card game, in payment for waiting for nothing.

Lelouch understands too well why this happened when he gets a phone call from the police, asking to confirm that the noble lady was at home with him instead of anywhere near her husband when the “accident” happened. Lelouch confirms it, then after hanging up rushes to the bathroom to throw up, feeling sick and _**used**_.

_(he was just a toy for her pleasure and plans; Lelouch can't--)_

 

* * *

 

4: Lelouch/Julius is just 18, broken and angry and confused by a mish-mash of conflicting memories and views of Britannia.

Shin Hyuga Shaing is mad and laughing in the wreckage of the room left after the Knightmare battle. _Suzaku_ /Knight of Seven is dragged off by soldiers/ _betrayers_ working for him, ordered to be held captive and not killed in case he's useful. Knights of the Rounds make valuable hostages, even an Eleven like him.

Lelouch/Julius can't focus, tries to remember why he's here, who he is loyal to. One side says the Emperor of Britannia, the other claims _that man_ as an enemy. Shaing approaches him and he can't react in time to stop him from grabbing his hair, slamming him into a nearby table that miraculously is still intact. He yells, shouting in pain, and soon is pinned with the horrible heat of Shaing behind him.

“Oh Zero.” He whispers in his ear, even as hands remove the cape of Lelouch/Julius, goes for the belt, for the pants, clothing dropping off of him, making him shiver at the brush of cold air. “Is this how the Emperor handles his enemies? No, no he doesn't does he? Apparently he does _care_ for his children, if he refuses to hand the death sentence to Prince Lelouch. To _Zero_.”

He calls him _Zero_ like it means something—it does to Lelouch, it doesn't to Julius. Lelouch/Julius can't focus, can't figure out who he is, but Shaing doesn't care. He just murmurs in his ear, hands cool and deft on him as he spreads him, prepares him. Lelouch/Julius struggles but he's always been weak and Shaing is a Knight, _s_ _trong_. They are alone now but that doesn't matter, wouldn't change even if they weren't. Shaing _will_ have him for his own sick reasons, murmurs of admiration for Zero, taunts against Julius/Lelouch, all being fed into his ears.

The first penetration is hard, heavy, hot; _hurts_ so much. But the next not so much, makes Julius/Lelouch cry out in pleasure as much as pain. Shaing takes him, laughing, whispering how much he _enjoys_ it in his ear, speaking of the heat and tightness, a hand snaking around to grab the proof of his body's betrayal of pleasure. It shouldn't feel good but it does and Julius _screams_.

Lelouch **cries**.

_(that's not the worst part; the worst part is being thrown in jail after with Suzaku and Suzaku, he...he...doesn't kill him, not the one time Lelouch begs for it)_

 

* * *

 

5: Rolo is his not-brother, barely 15, and Lelouch shouldn't do this but he doesn't want him wavering away from his side, from his position of “loyalty” and “love” that will help Lelouch, makes Rolo a useful tool until he can get Nunnally back again.

When Lelouch kisses Rolo, the boy freezes before leaning in, as he always does whenever Lelouch touches him affectionately. He could ( _should_ ) stop there, but Lelouch – _there is a woman, a hand on his knee and a smirk_ _on her face_ _, a man with a disturbing interest in a_ child _, another man who bribes and coaxes him,_ _ **Shaing**_ – doesn't.

Rolo stares up at him, mouth slightly parted, eyes wide and hopeful. Lelouch smiles, running a hand over his face. “I told you didn't I? That you are special.” He kisses him again, and this time Rolo responds. Lelouch encourages it, moaning slightly, and tugging Rolo towards the bed.

Rolo ends up hovering over him, biting his lip as he helps Lelouch remove his shirt. Pausing to remove his own shirt, hesitating briefly over the waistband of Lelouch's pants, pulling them down to reveal his briefs. Lelouch leans up to kiss him and whispers in his ear. Rolo flushes but he smiles, pressing a kiss to Lelouch's chest, licking at a nipple. Lelouch sighs, carding a hand through Rolo's hair and continues telling him what to do, what feels good, even as he reaches out to find what Rolo likes.

It's the last thing he can “gift” to him under the lie of love and Lelouch tries not to think of how it both doesn't hurt and yet _hurts_ as Rolo gently takes him under his guidance, hot and cold, strong and frail, at the same time.

When Rolo curls up to sleep next to him in the aftermath, Lelouch lets out a bitter, awful laugh, shaking in the horrible mirth of how twisted up things have become.

_(when Rolo dies Lelouch screams out but it's not enough to purge him of the poison, of the truth he led Rolo to his death; that he **didn't care** until it was _ too late _to make a difference)_

 

* * *

 

+1: Lelouch doesn't know when it happened, when it started, but he looks at Suzaku now and _wants_ like he always has, but more so with Suzaku as his Knight of Zero, with him standing strong by his side for the first time since--

He thinks, maybe, it started when they were young. In a field of sunflowers, with Suzaku's hand held out for him to help him when he inevitably falters, a brush against his cheek so soft. It crystallizes in the aftermath of war, with Lelouch staring at the despondent Suzaku and though he hates and rages, just Suzaku alone is enough to let him think.

And then there Suzaku is in the truck, in school, and Lelouch _wants_.

There's never time, only moments where Lelouch almost reaches out, _almost_ does so. Says to himself that _one day_ he will. But he's been dirty since he was a child, dirty and filthy and _bad_. And now he's being drenched in blood, blood after blood, more innocent than not.

Suzaku is in no way Lelouch's, not the wonderful, perfect Suzaku. Not with the equally perfect princess reaching out to Suzaku and if there is anyone Lelouch doesn't mind losing to, it's Euphemia. Let Suzaku be happy, them him **Live** and Lelouch will exist alongside that with bitter happiness his only solace.

But Euphie is dead and there is no turning back, not with the rage in Suzaku pointed directly at him in the form of a gun. Not with Nunnally dead at Suzaku's _(at Lelouch's)_ hands. Not with everything they have done, all the deaths they have caused, dripping all over with them in the scent of death and despair.

Yet somehow here they are, Lelouch as the Demon Emperor and Suzaku as the Knight of Zero. C.C. looks at Lelouch and tells him “This is your last chance” one evening after Lelouch spends too long staring at Suzaku's back after he leaves for a restless night of almost sleep.

But though Lelouch wants, he **can't** , not with who he is, what he's done, with how much Suzaku hates him, so instead he plays the role of the tyrant and waits for the sword to pierce his chest and end it all.

_(in the end, the closest he will ever get to Suzaku is when he's dying and that's how it should be)_

_(as he fades away, he sees sunflowers and blue skies and remembers that, once, there was a kiss...)_

 

* * *

 

0: Suzaku stares at Lelouch and wonders...

Wonders when he started looking at Lelouch in that way, when he started to notice his delicate features. Was it in the wreckage of Japan? With that greedy, awful man looking at and desiring Lelouch and Suzaku despairing because _of course_ Lelouch would give in for Nunnally's sake.

Was it when they reunited in that truck, in school? Or was it somewhere between; little moments that are meaningless until they become meaningful in retrospect?

Suzaku doesn't know, he just knows it's true he _**wants**_ Lelouch...

...but it's too late.

_(but maybe if he wasn't such a coward, a **hypocrite** , it wouldn't have gotten to this point)_

_(maybe if he'd been smarter, he would have seen how Lelouch looked at him before he was stabbing a sword into him, **killing** **him** )_

_(but Suzaku has always been a fool and a liar and it's only when he stares at Lelouch's corpse that he realizes...)_

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

_somewhere, somewhen, purple eyes open to blue skies despite never **believing**_

_somewhere, somewhen, green eyes meet purple eyes they have never forgotten but gave up **hope**_

One day is someday. And one day someday will come.

**Author's Note:**

> ...well I definitely wrote all that.
> 
> Right. Comment to tell me you like this, give me feedback, the whole she-bang. I'm just getting in this fandom, maybe if you bug me you can help me wrangle the muse to writing the happier, more extensive stuff I have planned.


End file.
